It turns out that the only way to figure out what skills teachers are learning from video games is to trick them -- at least, that's what this author theorizes.
I need $6,000,000 from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to work on "stealth" assessments embedded in video games that will measure teacher's persistence, problem solving, conceptual physics, patience, texting-spelling-math abilities and credit score while they play. The grant will help me find ways to extract that data from the teacher-player files to study it.
Game designers from Champagne, IL are currently considering a game loosely based on Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Grand Theft Auto. It may display icons of politicians, administrators and stereotypical faculty, staff and students. Reek Scott, Charlatan Daniels, Gunner Dockerty?
Teachers wishing to participate should check back for an application. This application will require you to name a student who really needs to be left behind - far, far behind. Those applicants who name the same student will receive bonus points.